Basil Rathbone Hears of the Kennedy Assassination

A Screenplay

CHARACTERS SALESMAN: willie lomany BASIL: early 70s, creaky, retired actor

EXT. SIDEWALK - SUNSET BLVD

SALESMAN
Excuse me, sir. Can I trouble you a moment?
BASIL
No, no thank you.
SALESMAN
Just for a moment, old boy.
BASIL
No thank you. I'm off to an appointment.
SALESMAN
Well actually that's how I can help. You walk with a cane, I see. But it's too short.
BASIL
Excuse me?
SALESMAN
Your cane - it's too short for your frame. I know because I'm in the game.
BASIL
You're in the cane game? Your're a cane salesman?
SALESMAN
Well medical supply, sure. Of a sort.
BASIL
"Of a sort," eh?

Basil resumes walking.

SALESMAN (catching up)
Well, specialty. It's self-defense but that cuts across a lot of truly high-quality and useful items. Canes for sure, sir.
BASIL
I'm sorry. You sell self-defense canes?
SALESMAN
I sure do, sir. They're canes but with the finest steel blades. Sheathed inside, of course. Very safe. It's a crazy place, this world. One must prepare.
BASIL
Oh, I don't know that it's all that crazy.
SALESMAN
What? Vietnam and now they killed Kennedy, too? That sounds crazy to me.
BASIL
Kennedy? What's that supposed to mean?
SALESMAN
Oh, sir. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you but yes, President Kennedy was shot dead this morning. In Texas.
BASIL
I'm to believe an American President was assassinated hours ago and you're out selling knives to old men? Good day, sir.
FIN